Voices

Because I felt like I needed to write...

More recently I’ve noticed that I have a constant battle inside my mind. I wrestle with the idea of what is right. It’s always been important to know what is the right thing to do. I hold myself to a standard that I believe is healthy. I strive to do what I understand is right for others as I would hope they would for me. It goes along the lines of love your neighbor as yourself. It’s what that looks like that is really the challenge.

You see, being a Christian, I do strive to follow scripture. I think the words in the Bible are true. I think that we should follow them. Yet, I don’t necessarily always agree with how people see ideas in scripture. I also don’t agree with how people choose to use the Bible to get what they want.

In our current political environmen, people have made me question if Jesus is the center of the faith. I’m not joking either. I mean I’ve read some of the things people post on social media. You have people in support of Trump acting as if he’s the second coming of Christ and on the other side you have people high- roading those Trump voters saying that they can't be Christian and in support of Trump. The sad part is when people try to use Jesus to guilt people on either side. It’s not that they care about Jesus but rather they really want what they want.

Like I said, it’s hard to wrestle with what is right and wrong. Some people say that scripture lays things out pretty clearly. I don’t think that’s the case all the time. I think we still have issues that pop up about race, gender, etc. Most of the time, it’s kind of open to our interpretation of scripture. You got those who hold strongly to Biblical literal-ism and those who interpret a bit more through the lens of the culture. Neither are wrong ways to do things, but people make it a bigger deal.

I remember when I used to feel like I couldn’t think clearly. Within both my faith and in society, I’ve battled with what it means to be a Christian. Truthfully I’ve been disappointed with being someone with the label Christian. It seems harsh but I hold Christianity to a high standard because I truly believe in what Jesus was about.

This is your brain on....

Currently I’m in the epicenter of what can only be described as Bible belt of Pennsylvania. This would be Lancaster County. We have a lot of different types of churches and even groups of faiths. It’s not unusual to turn a corner and see a church. Also people are really well-versed in the Bible. I mean they can quote scripture left and right. Now applying it would be a different story. 

Lancaster County is a great place but the context has given me new eyes on life. I’ve interacted with people and wrestled with beliefs due to it. For instance, I’ve heard people say things such as: God doesn’t work like that or My relationship is better because of this or that (examples are numerous). When I hear these things, it’s not normally just an opinion, it’s truth to that person. It's also indicating this person has a better relationship with God.

A better example of this is when people talk about worship music. Now I don’t connect with most worship music. I’m just being honest for the sake of authenticity. Someone said that the devil won’t come close if there is worship music on. Now to an extent, I agree. I also believe that when you are in worship and connecting with God, that keeps Satan from taking advantage of us. Worship music doesn’t do anything unless it’s focusing our mind on Jesus Christ.

You see, worship music isn’t anything special. People are now treating it like regular music in which people just listen to it. What’s special is how you use the gift of song to impact your worship of God. I’ve listened to As Cities Burn and connected with God because I can worship God within that music. It doesn’t matter if they aren’t a “worship” band but rather God uses art to connect with us in worship.

I also use to wrestle with understanding addiction. I’ve had my own issues and the importance of prayer within those battles is significant. I also have understood the importance of mental health treatments alongside prayer. I don’t know how many times I've overheard people just saying you need Jesus in order to be healed. Now I think it’s a part of a healing journey but we also need to get other forms of help. Some people can cold turkey stuff but most people can't. It’s okay to have a prayer team and a counselor. You are not wrong if Jesus doesn’t just heal you.

I’ve been a Christian for over 10 years and I finally feel like I’m starting to understand life a bit more. I’m starting to not get caught up in a theological battle in my head anymore. I’m not trying to figure out if Calvin or Augustine was right about some differing theological point. I’m looking at a person or group of people and taking time to discern what the Lord has on my heart for them.

Do I always use scripture? Most of the time, it’s the basis of my understanding of God. Do I allow the Holy Spirit to reveal to me the truth? I’m embracing the Holy Spirit and that sometimes it’s not going to lead me in scripture but through conviction of the heart.

I’ve been asked, do you think you are right in your thinking about life and God. I’d probably say no. I’m probably wrong and have even leads people astray. I do have to stand before God but I also believe that grace can be given in the midst of it. Does this mean I don’t care about leading others astray? Absolutely not. I don’t speak often because I want to make sure that I speak wisely. It’s important to me not to speak unless I truly feel convicted.

I’m currently on the journey to stop trying to feel like I have to be 100% right at all times. The truth is, I just want to keep learning. I want to keep discovering God through scripture and others. I will strive to follow Christ and hopefully do it right. Life isn’t about fearing Hell but finding God in the midst of our life.