BEING A FATHER...
There are
two things I knew I did want for my future. The first was a husband
and the second was a dad. Luckily, I met a woman who not only loves me but gave
me wonderful kids. If I’m honest, I don’t necessarily have my dream job, but I
am so glad I have Beka and the kids. It makes doing things a lot easier being able to support them.
The reason I write this is because I’ve been
thinking a lot about Father’s Day and fatherhood. It’s changed me significantly.
In the physical ways, my house is never clean, I can’t watch what I want on TV,
and I’m answering a lot more questions about things with more google searches.
On the internal realm, I see my flaws, I see great joys, and I understand Jesus’
love more.
My kids can
be difficult but what parents wouldn’t say this about their children. Yet,
there is nothing like coming home and them wrapping your legs up in a big hug. There
is nothing like watching them ride a bike for the first time. There is nothing
like belly laughter as they tell jokes they find funny.
I’ve
cherished moments and I think about my own dad. My dad taught me the importance
of being a husband and father. He taught me the importance of love. Both my parents
taught me as much but as a young boy learning what it meant to be a man; my
father embodied it.
My dad
often sacrificed to give us the best life he could give us. This meant working
hard at jobs, I know he probably didn’t love. I knew he’d come home tired, but
he was always there for dinner. He’d always be there for bedtime. As we got older,
he’d always make sure he was at our practices for sports and games. When he was
doing schooling, he took his work with him and did it while making sure he was supporting
us.
My dad also
liked to do special things for us. He would take us to the movies, sometimes to
sporting events, and even amusement parks. I remember a lot of Sundays after
church, he’d buy a box of bagels and we’d sit and watch Steeler games together
because it was not only something he loved but it was time with us.
My dad
also took the time to talk to us. He was someone who took the time to guide us
and not tell us what we should do. I remember making mistakes and he’d be
frustrated but he’d talk to me about it. It was something that he wanted to teach
and help me understand why I might have been punished.
He also allowed me to find my own
faith. Sure, he wanted us in church while living in his house but it wasn’t something
forced on me. I think having the ability to think for myself helped me become a
better follower of Jesus. My dad prayed often and would tell us. I didn’t know much
about this until my mom told me about the way my dad would pray and was
constantly praying over us.
My dad’s legacy is what inspires me
often to be a better father. I admit, I feel I fall short, but I know that even
my father felt that way. This doesn’t define me as a father because I will
always fall short. As I cling to Jesus, I know that I will be able to be the
father my kids need.
I love being a dad to my kids. I struggle
often because being a father is hard. I don’t always love each day with struggles
at work or personal battles. Yet, when I get to see my kids thrive, when I get
those hugs and cuddles, those moments remind me the world is beautiful.
I would be remiss to say that I
couldn’t be half the father I am without my wife. She inspires me everyday with
all she does for the kids and I. She is often behind the scenes doing a lot of
great work with my kids. She has blessed me with her kindness and love. So,
this Father’s Day, I am reminded of the grace that God has poured out to me in
many ways.
