Thanksgiving

Reminder to self...

I wish I could have been a baseball player. I miss when I was a kid, dreaming of walking onto the Mets field to play a game I loved. I miss Friday night, going to the video store and renting a movie, and eating dinner on the couch with my family. I wish I could tell my friends that I miss the nights hanging out in a basement writing songs, playing video games, and skateboarding during our band practices. It wasn’t even about the music but the fun we had together.

I wish I could find the enjoyment of the holidays, like when I believed in the mystical Santa Clause. The idea that there was a bit of magic in the world just made the world seem more interesting. I miss Denny’s. The food wasn’t great but hanging out with my friends in the middle of the night was a lot of fun.

I miss traveling with Beka. I took for granted the fun of discovering a new place. I hope we can do it again one day. I am grateful for the day I married Beka. She was beautiful that day. She still is the most beautiful woman to this day. She really is my favorite person.

I really wish I would have embraced my inner nerd earlier than I did. I love comic books and felt like I missed out on so many cool things because I didn’t want to look nerdy. I regret being so afraid to take chances with doing new things or meeting new people. Fear really affected me from being the person I am today.

I remember sneaking onto private property and skateboarding with my brother. I also remember getting caught and running away. I guess we are lucky we never got the cops called on us. I’m glad I have music as an outlet. It got me through a lot of hard times. Playing guitar gave me an outlet to process my thoughts. 

I’m lucky I have two brothers who are just solid people. I enjoy the fact that I can laugh and talk about anything with them. They are my best friends.

I smile when I remember the time in little league I played for the Mets. It was literally the best moment of my little league career. I cherish it. I remember going to a concert and my friend Andrew getting lost in a pit. We figured out later he had a concussion from getting hit by someone. I will say that it was a hell of a show. 

I remember a dream I had of heaven. It has stuck with me because I do believe Jesus gifted me with that dream.

I remember the day each day my kids were born. My favorite memory is of when Beka told me about her being pregnant with Owen. I cried because I was so excited to be a dad. I remember my dad being there for me. He takes me to baseball practice even in the midst of his studies and job. My parents are amazing people.

I remember joining one of the best departments at my job. I love the ladies that have grown me into the professional I am today. I hope they know I’m grateful. I remember the last day in New York before we moved. We went to the movies at midnight with some friends. Beka and my friend Josh fell asleep mid movie. I’m glad they are still our friends. It’s funny how many people you meet that you still hold dear memories from life.

As the year ends, and I grow older. I want to remind myself in this season how life can be beautiful. I know there are struggles and hurts that occur for everyone. It’s good to reflect on the moments God has given us. I’ve been lucky to have done a lot of what I’ve done. God has been far too good to me.

In the midst of the end of the year, I embrace a bit of gratitude for how much life I’ve lived. Thank you Jesus.

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God. I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that people will fear him.

Ecclesiastes 3:11-14