How you feel, when the carpet is pulled out from under you and you forgot your grappling gun

Charlie Brown...

Life has a funny way of upending us. Whether it's losing someone, being rejected, being fired, or just that feeling of lack in our souls. It just seems like there is a part of life that can has us on our backs. I call this the Charlie Brown effect (clearly this isn't something I can coin, I may get sued). 

This week I've had one of those moments. I'm not going to write it here, mostly because it's information that should remain between the parities. 

I've been going through a lot of questions and emotions as of late. Most of those things range from sadness, to disappointment, to anger. I like to think these are dangerous emotions. What stemmed from the emotions came statements like:

• Why was I rejected?
• I am a failure
• I hate the ones who did this to me

Falling on our backs... still no grappling gun.

I struggle as a Christian. This should be something anyone who claims to follow Christ admits. I mean in the Hymn "Come Now Fount of Every Blessing" there is a line that straight up says "Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it, Prone to leave the God I love". I feel like as Christians we have to recognize the human condition. This is not to say I can excuse myself because of the human condition, but to see that our faithfulness comes from the grace of Jesus.

I struggle with anger. I believe my anger stems mostly from hurt. After I was hurt, I found myself very angry. Hurt whether physical or not can leave people upset and angry. Trust me, when I stub my toe, anger comes out, sometimes in not the most kind words.

My human condition has led me to feel justified to be angry. It says to me get justice. It's like if someone were to punch you, the first thought normally is to punch back. It's just easier to do the wrong thing. It's easier to talk about someone behind there back than to their face, it's easier to ignore someone than talk to them, and it's sure as heck easier letting anger grow and being bitter. Justice is served when we feel like we are somehow breaking down others. I don't know why but we tend to think it helps...

The Shack in which I stay...

There is this great quote that comes from "The Shack". I'm aware that people have stuff against this book, but that's another discussion. The author William Paul Young wrote:

" Forgiveness is not about forgetting. It is about letting go of another person's throat".

Forgiveness is such a hard thing to find in the heart. It goes for oneself and others. I think it's harder when Jesus answers Peter's question, how many times after a brother sinning against us, should we forgive. Matthew 18:23," Jesus said to him, 'I do not say seven times, but seventy-seven times'"

Forgiveness is an important process in order to get our hearts back in the right place. I say this because it's true. My anger towards others was stemmed from my emotions. You can see it in the questions and the emotions I mentioned earlier. My hurt is driving me. Satan takes hold of this weakness and exploits it.

Forgiveness releases us from the chains we bound ourselves with. Jesus understood this idea. When we hold on to our anger, we hurt ourselves more. We break bonds with people. We break relationship. Hurt makes us blind to the fact that we have broken relationship with God and others.

GRACE

Nothing in Christianity is easy. It calls you to do things that just seem incredibly hard. The truth be told we can't do it. It is only by the grace of God we can forgive, overcome emotions, and find a place where our soul can be at peace. 

We are bound to sinful nature, which tells you and I to follow the way of mankind. It tells us to not forgive, to hold onto bitterness, to get justice our way. When we allow Christ to work in our lives it's the opposite. We will forgive, we will let go, and we will allow justice in God's timing. 

It's not easy for me to give things to God. After the past week, all that I've gone through; I still have a lot to go through. I'm still angry. I'm still hurt. Yet God's grace is softening my heart. God's love for me, His forgiveness for my sin, helps me each day.

The writer of Lamentations wrote the following words which to this day live as my life verse. He writes:

I remember my affliction and my wandering,

    the bitterness and the gall.

I well remember them,

    and my soul is downcast within me.

 Yet this I call to mind

    and therefore I have hope:

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,

    for his compassions never fail.

 They are new every morning;

    great is your faithfulness.

I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion;

    therefore I will wait for him.”

Every day is a new day. We no longer have to live with the things that break relationships and that hurt hearts. We are free because God's love towards us. Each day is a gift. We don't have to remain like Charlie Brown on our backs but standing tall. God is good and faithful even in the midst of our storms.


Ps. Poor Charlie Brown, he's a good guy, but man he's got it rough...